Letting Go: Off They Go To School!

Mrs. Johnson has just arrived home from the embassy where she took her daughter Bebe for visa interview. Bebe just got admission into one of the universities in the UK to study accounting. Fortunately for her visa application was approved and she will be traveling to the UK in few weeks’ time. While Bebe was on the phone sharing the good news with family and friends, Mrs. Johnson is lost in her thought about how her daughter will survive in a strange land since this will be her first time of traveling and living outside the country all by herself.

Brian has always wanted to go to a boarding school. Right from when he was in primary 4. Toby who happens to be Brian's friend and neighbor attends an all-boys boarding secondary school. Toby is always bragging about his school and also telling Brian the funny things he does in school. Brian will be resuming at Toby's school this new session. Brian is an only child and his mum always wanted him to be a day student at the school where he had his primary education. Brian's mum was hoping that Brian will fail the school's entrance examination but here they are preparing his things for boarding school.

Ada just got a new job. She stopped working when she had her first baby. She wanted to give her best to the baby by nursing the baby until he is four years. Now her baby is two years but with the present economic crisis she has to go back to work so that she can assist her family financially. She has made enquiries about the schools around her neighborhood and has finally settled for a school. But as her resumption day at work approaches, she is having a second thought of letting the job go so that she can take care of her baby for another two years.

The above stories show how parents find it difficult to let their child become independent of them. Parents feel that their responsibility of protecting and guiding their children is for a life time. Parents tend to forget that their children need independence to face challenges and learn to take responsibility. Most times parents especially mothers find it difficult to let go of their children, they feel that their children cannot take care of themselves. They want their children close by so that they can ''protect'' them. One thing every parent must know is that as your child grows it is important that you allow your child to start learning to be independent. For the older children, you must learn to trust them to begin to take responsibility for their lives.

In order to ensure a greater chance at success in taking care of themselves, parents must ensure that they inculcate at the early developmental stages of their children the sort of values that they (parents) appreciate and imbibe. Values like honesty, courtesy, respect for others, gratitude, contentment, sportsmanship, team spirit, hard work, taking personal responsibility for one's actions, and so on, should be taught to the children. The early inculcation of such values will guarantee that as the children grow older, they are able to handle situations better.

  If your child is just starting preschool or nursery/primary school, ensure that you:

• Prepare your child's mind by telling him/her about school.

When your child has started school:

• Always ask daily about what he/she did in school.

• Watch out for unusual behavior, signs of being bullied, etc.

• Get to know his/her teacher and ask for regular updates from the teacher.

 If your child is 8years-above:

• Teach him/her about safety and how to handle an emergency.

•  Teach him/her how to spend his/her allowance wisely. Financial prudence must be taught early to avoid reckless and unwise spending.

•  Teach him/her to respect other peoples' opinions while standing for values he/she believes in.

•   Teach him/her how to handle criticisms objectively.

• Tell him/her when to see a doctor. Explain to him/her the danger of self-medication.

While in boarding school:

• Get a staff of the school to act as a guardian for your child.

•  Do not call every day to checkup on the child. You can call maybe 2/3times a week. Give your child the impression that you trust that he/she is able to take care of him/her self.

• Know the names of your child's friends.

 While the above list is not exhaustive, it should serve as a guideline for a parent who is facing the reality of his/her child go off to school.

 Although "letting go" can be quite emotional, you must understand that someday life will create/demand the need for your child to require greater independence from you.   

Keep Living the Ace Life!!!